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D0v Laid r Archives e Archives u0tsearchesearchvsearchc Laid A new national report reveals that 45.9 million American adults aged 18 or older, or 20 percent of this age group, experienced mental illness in the past year. The rate of mental illness was more than twice as high among those aged 18 to 25 (29.9 percent) than among those aged 50 and older (14.3 percent). Adult women were also more likely than men to have experienced mental illness in the past year (23 percent versus 16.8 percent).
Too often, parents find themselves caught in a game of “gimme” with their children – as in, “Gimme this, Mom.” or “Dad, can you gimme a new video game?” However, how much money you spend on your kids matters less than how much time you spend with them.
Tulsa World Blogger Natalie Mikles has some fantasic ideas for spending time together as a family free or on the cheap. We have a few other suggestions:
Have a board game night. Younger children can be paired up with older kids or parents. Reading game cards reinforces language skills, and moving the pawn and handling money helps with mathematics.
Channel Scheherezade, the fabled Persian storyteller. She told a story that lasted 1,001 nights, ending each night’s session on a suspenseful note. Let every member of the family have an opportunity to tell part of the story you create together.
Go dancing without the stars. Turn on some music and cut a rug on your own rug. It’s a great way to get some exercise and is likely to leave everyone giggling.
Stage your own “Chopped” challenge. Set out an array of motley ingredients, start a timer and tell your little chef to create a culinary masterpiece. Plan to be on hand to help younger children with cutting and any cooking required, but let their creativity guide the final product.
“He isn’t even trying anymore.”
“She doesn’t care.”
Sound familiar? If so, you are not alone. Many couples go through times when one or both feel that they are the only one “working” on the relationship. It becomes frustrating to reflect on your relationship and see only those things that you do to make your relationship work. It can become a habit to focus only on those things that your partner ISN’T doing. When this habit forms it is likely that other bad habits form in its wake, including bouts of escalation when trying to discuss issues with your partner, or starting sentences that begin with, “You never… ” or “You always… .”
Especially if you have children together, it is important to find ways of relating to one another without damaging your closeness. One way to begin this process is called “Do Your Part.” This concept relies greatly on your ability to look closely at your thoughts and actions to bring about change in your relationship. In other words, in every situation, find a way to do the best you can. Whether that be choosing not to yell and scream, or choosing to do something nice for your partner even in times of irritation.
This does not mean you can change your relationship on your own. It takes two to make a relationship work over time. However, if both you and your partner begin a daily practice of “Do Your Part,” the need for each to focus on the other’s bad behavior will cease. This involves trust. You have to trust that your partner is doing everything he or she can to make your relationship and family life work, and vice versa. This also involves a lot of respect and kindness, both toward yourself and your partner.
“Do Your Part” can change the tone of your relationship. You will begin to process events in a different way. Instead of automatically going toward the one thing your partner did wrong, you will be thinking in “I” statements instead. Like, “What could I have done to make that conversation better?” or, “What could I do today to make my relationship stronger?”
If you would like to learn more about “Do Your Part,” and other concepts and skills to make your relationship strong, Family & Children’s Services offers a free class called Forever. For Real. In this class, couples learn together the skills needed to create a lasting and loving partnership.
Family & Children’s Services is asking local retailers to clear their racks. The agency’s popular warehouse sale fundraising event is just around the corner – and merchandise is needed!
F&CS will host its ninth annual Abersons & Friends Warehouse Sale on March 28-30, 2012, at its central office, 650 S. Peoria Avenue. Proceeds of the sale will help F&CS provide counseling, treatment and support services to children who’ve been abused, families in crisis and individuals faced with overwhelming problems or mental illness.
Local merchants can support the effort by donating unsold stock – including home décor, housewares; women’s, men’s and children’s clothing; accessories and more – to F&CS. The agency will coordinate pick up from stores. Participating merchants may take a tax deduction for any items they donate, will be listed in promotional materials and – best of all! – will have more room on their racks to display the latest spring merchandise.
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